Dear Jenn,
We regret to inform you that Victoria ceased publication with the June 2003 issue. The balance of your subscription is being transferred to HEALTH, the magazine that teaches you the power of living well.
Sincerely,
Customer Service
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Dear Customer Service,
As pleased as I am with your concern for my well being, I am quite upset that you have taken the liberty to change my subscription to HEALTH. Perhaps you think I need effective fitness schedules and healthy recipes, but will you have French models posing in French gardens? Nay. Will you show your readers the latest fad in hats? My doubt is high. I suspect you will not interview authors or show the architectural plans for castles in Scotland. Please send me a refund for the remainder of my subscription, for I am severely disappointed in your behavior. Wicked people!
Sincerely,
Jenn