octolilly [through the years]

Paul and Adrienne are not the only ones to have traversed through the Rodanthe. The steady gale, the hammering rain and the all too familiar surprising hunger are very near. Once I finished the book I found myself stumbling to the piano. There was an obsession I have never felt before as I caressed the keys. If you would have stood in the doorway and listened through my quiet sobbing, I doubt you would have known the song. It is written in a delicious minor and only when you are halfway through the song does the melody ring clear. Great is thy faithfulness. That truth is the only solid factor I can rest upon. He who has led me thus far will lead me on. The Rodanthe-like manner in which He is choosing to lead me makes no sense to others. I trust Him.

Remember surrender
Remember relief

Remember how tears rolled down both of your cheeks
As the warmth of a heavenly father came closing in

Remember surrender
Remember peace
Remember how soundly you fell fast asleep
In the face of your troubles your future still shone like the morning sun

– Sara Groves

The night I had to tell my dad all that I had been involved in for a year…the night I realized I had to end the relationship with that certain boyfriend…and many other times. It is exceptionally hard to find yourself at the place of surrender but once there you wonder why you didn’t come sooner.

When Satan certainly wants to see my downfall, it is doubtful that I was experiencing direct attacks from the Evil One; I was more likely experiencing the true strength of my sinful heart whose power was not fully known to me until I resisted it.

Incidentally, this phenomenon (whereby the actual extent of indwelling sin’s pull is unknown to us until we begin doing right) is very much like the experience of one who is rowing a canoe. As long as he is going with the current, he has no idea how strong the current really is. Only when he decides to turn his canoe around and start rowing against the current does he experience its true strength.

A believer who has been giving in to the pull of his sinful heart never learns the extent of its power over him. When he decides to “row upstream,” however, he meets the “current” of indwelling sin full force. He quickly realizes that life lived against his sinful bent is not only difficult- it is impossible. He must learn how desperately he needs God.

– Jim Berg, Changed into His Image

Rouse thee, O believer, from thy low condition! Cast away thy sloth, thy lethargy, thy coldness, or whatever interferes with thy chaste and pure love to Christ. Make Him the source, the center, and the circumference of all thy soul’s range of delight. Rest no longer satisfied with thy dwarfish attainments. Aspire to a higher, a nobler, a fuller life. Upward to heaven! Nearer to God!

– Spurgeon