– The pediatrician and nurse both said it was very rare to see a four year old who has excellent hearing, vision, vocabulary, doesn’t wet the bed at night, is in the 75% percentile as far as height and weight, looks as if he won’t need braces (how do they even KNOW that?!), and then the doctor proceeded to say (I kid you not!) “you should have more kids if they are going to be like this.” :O I didn’t know whether to be proud, embarrassed, or offended.
– He aced the 54 questions about gross motor skills, verb tenses, relationships with others, and even drew awesome pictures wherein they were impressed that he drew arms, legs, and fingers on a stick-figure Mommy.
– Apparently he should know how to unbutton his own pants now, brush his teeth by himself, and be serving himself at the table. Yeah, right. HAVE YOU SEEN MY CHILD? He would have his toothbrush in his pants and be throwing peas at everyone if I let him have that much control. Wait, do I sound like a control freak?
– When the doctor asked him why his hands were so warm, Drew said, “my hands are warm because they were in the sun. And the sun is a BRIGHT STAR THAT IS VERY HOT. That is why my hands are warm. Your hands are cold.”
– He got caught up on some immunizations that I’ve been lazy about (boo me!) and although we spent several days before talking about shots and why it was important to get them, he was certainly shrieking by the FOURTH shot. But he was very brave and even told me later that he would tell his friends to be brave too if they needed shots.
– So, it wasn’t eczema that he’s been suffering with for four weeks. No wonder the cortisone wasn’t helping. He has Tinea versicolor. For about fifteen minutes, I don’t think I blinked as I couldn’t get past Tinea versicolor means “multicolored ringworm.”
MY KID HAS RAINBOW COLORED WORMS INSIDE HIS BODY?
Yes, for a very small second, I wanted to see the worms.
But then I was back to freaking out.
I was relieved to discover that he doesn’t actually have worms. He has a fungal infection of the skin (cue gagging) that is caused by a type of yeast that is normally found on human skin. It only causes problems if a.) ones body is susceptible to the fungus and b.) if you live in a hot climate.
Apparently Drew is rather susceptible and the recent hot weather caused a flareup. Unfortunately, once you have it, you can deal with it on and off for years. 🙁 But it is easily treatable. I just gave him a bath with medicinal shampoo and after three or so days of that, we should see his rashes clearing up completely. And then that means we have to avoid excessive heat and sweating all summer.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. We’re visiting South Carolina in a few weeks. Why, I’m sure we won’t deal with excessive heat or sweating there. 😉
So, with nerdy parents who prefer to be indoors anyway, I imagine Drew will find out about nature and outside things from the Internet.
OR ELSE THE RAINBOW COLORED WORMS WILL COME BACK.
P.S. He is not contagious.
P.S.S. My kid keeps abusing me.