It has been quite awhile since I’ve written at Aelki and obviously, you can guess why. The wedding plans are coming together nicely but the last minute details are certainly starting to feel overwhelming. Of course, The Bank Craze is also throwing me off balance.
I enjoy busyness and more importantly, I enjoy efficiency. But the incredible work load (trying to balance the work for five offices between three people in Operations) is almost pushing me to the breaking point. I absolutely still love what I do, the people I work with are most definitely some of the most energetic and fun-loving folks I’ve ever met and I still wholeheartedly agree with the heartbeat of The Bank. My struggle is that I love perfection and I love doing 110%. But right now, just keeping the machine well-oiled is what matters. That’s really hard. It is disconcerting to see the hoard of paperwork that hasn’t been filed because when on earth would I have time to file it? Another tricky task for me is delegating but I’m quickly realizing that to be fair to myself and others – delegating is one of the best things ever. The more I can get off my plate and hand to others, well, that means I can be more efficient in other areas. But it also gives someone else a challenge, and therefore a place to shine.
But right now I am in the midst of writing How To guides and preparing the others in Operations to take over my responsibilities for two weeks. I feel as though remembering to breathe is something I should also write down.
To make busy-overwhelming matters worse, I am having serious trouble with my left knee. I’m debating on wearing a thermal wrap down the aisle instead of a garter. The pain makes me limp and the searing ache is keeping me up tonight. I have washed my face three times, drank two glasses of water and played Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini, Variation 18 four times tonight. Normally, Rachmaninov puts me into a dreamy sleep. However, I’m piled up in the bed contemplating life.
Well, contemplating life might be a bit of a stretch. That sounds like I’m pondering World Hunger or The Price of Eggs in China. In fact, I’m actually just wondering what this last week is going to be like. In seven days, I’ll be a wife. So many people are asking me, “Are you nervous yet?” “Do you have cold feet?” “You only have a few days! Live it up!” But I think that’s a dismal way to look at marriage.
I will not argue that my heart skips a beat when I think of closing the door on a chapter that has lasted for 24 years. But I know without a doubt that I am ready for this new chapter. No, I don’t know what lies around the corner and of course I don’t know what I’m getting myself into. That isn’t really the point. The point is that I’m choosing to travel these next chapters with someone else. No matter the roads that lie ahead.
In our wedding program, we are having an excerpt from The Many Loves of Marriage by Thomas and Nanette Kinkade. Every time I read over the words, I catch my breath. This really says it all:
Picture two backpackers, setting out on a journey.
As well as they are able, they have prepared themselves for the long trek. They’re excited. They’re also inexperienced, untested, unproven, and just a little bit scared. Yet they have the essentials. They have a good compass. They have provisions. And they have each other.
The problem is, they have no idea at all where their path will lead. They have a vague notion that there will be long climbs, beautiful vistas, deep canyons, long desert stretches, and swift rivers. Although bright sunlight will occasionally warm their shoulders, they also sense (however dimly) that rain will follow, the wind will blow, and snow may cover the trail.
At the same time, they can also appreciate the fact that each of them will change on this journey – as surely as the terrain transforms beneath their feet. Dark nights, heavy loads, long winds, and the heat of the day have a way of shaping one’s soul. They will begin to see things through new eyes. They will find a pace that suits them both. They will adjust to weaknesses – whether of bone or sinew, or of the heart. They will develop attitudes and attributes significantly different from the way they viewed things at the trailhead.
But as the miles fall behind and the months and years slip by, they will continue to walk side by side. Sometimes helping each other across streams or up steep, rocky inclines, they maintain their long journey…into the unknown.
The landscapes alters dramatically. Storms rage and pass on. Wildflowers bloom and wither. Seasons pass. Companions on the trail come and go. And the hikers themselves adjust and grow through each experience, each amazing vista, each encounter with hardship and danger.
And they stay together.
Step for step, Day by day. Year after year. Their companionship is a constant as everything else changes. When one stumbles, the other is quick with a helping hand. When one becomes weary, the other shoulders two loads for a few miles. They weather the storms. They take shelter in each other’s arms. They experience high country panoramas when life unfolds before them, shining like a rain-washed highway in the morning sun. Nothing, but nothing, drives them apart. Nothing short of death divides their path.
Two for the road, no matter where that road may lead.
We at least do know that the road is leading to Amelia Island next weekend. I am absolutely thrilled at the idea of going away, resting and exploring a beautiful island. Thank the Lord for times of rest.
I’m sure when we turn the page to the next chapter we will have to hold on to our hats. After all, that’s the way life is.