2008 brought so much change to my life. It’s been breathtaking, overwhelming, enlightening, and saddening at times.
I’ve learned a lot about myself. A lot about marriage and mothering. And a lot about faith.
I’m making a good riddance box tonight. And finishing up my list of New Years Resolutions. Unlike some, I love making them.
I’m ready for the adventures and journey of 2009.
1. It snowed yesterday evening. It’s our second snow here since we moved and it’s beautiful.
2. I’m finally heading to the doctor tomorrow. I’m pretty sure this is a sinus infection and it’s just getting worse. What ever happens if you don’t treat a sinus infection? Will my head fall off? 😉
Days have passed since Thanksgiving but I’m just now able to chronicle the stories as I’m struggling each day just to breathe. I feel so sick and I’m exceptionally ready to feel healthy and energetic.
We made fun memories as my family traveled here from South Carolina and as we all gathered in Maryland for a feast. It was lovely to be with them all but my being sick certainly made this particular Thanksgiving a bit less enjoyable.
I wasn’t my normal shutterbug self either. It’s hard to take pictures when you are sick. So, my mom sweetly shared her pictures with me.
After sleeping in on Friday morning, we went to Cracker Barrel for lunch and of course, Drew put on a show for everyone. Including the waitress.
My cute little boy is also using a Big Boy straw now.
This weekend he also started talking in sentences occasionally. He says, “turn music iPod on” and “all done.” If I ask him “where’s the moon” he giggles and repeats the question in his little tiny voice. “Where’s the moon? Right there!”
He also finally managed to say Grammy. Which thrilled my mom to no end.
We all headed to the glorious park nearby and spent some time scampering about in the cold. With our cameras.
I have to say that our visit with my parents was absolutely wonderful. It was so good to see them (I ran squealing into the driveway when they arrived) and I was teary when they left.
Drew loved playing with them and he ran around mentioning Grammy and Pop-Pop as often as he could.
They brought Drew his tiny soft football pillow that we’d left in South Carolina and he has fallen in love with it all over again.
Mom and Dad left on Saturday morning and for most of the weekend we all caught up on rest. I’ve spent most of my time on the couch or in bed. I want to go outside and run around with Drew but it’s so cold and that’s really the last thing I need on my lungs.
It wasn’t until Sunday that I started really slowing down mentally and pondering the bountiful harvest that I do have. For about a week I’ve been in a dark funk. To say I’ve been depressed is putting it mildly. I’ve discovered I have a streak of jealousy in me that is horribly embarrassing and I’ve been a bit overwhelmed at how to deal with it.
I haven’t been very contended lately. I’m still struggling with faith and church. And I also feel like the biggest frump in the world. My hair is annoying me, I have been gaining instead of losing, and I think I need to address the serious problem of my having very few clothes in my closet. I am always willing to pay money for Drew to have clothes, I love to give gifts, and I don’t mind buying things for the house and of course I’ll pay for anything book-related or computer-related. If we have the money, that is. But I NEVER buy clothes for myself. NEVER. It always feels selfish. But I think I need to buy clothes.
But this weekend, in my sick state, I found myself reading French Women Don’t Get Fat while curled up under the covers. I’ve had the book since last Christmas but had just assumed it was another diet book and haven’t really paid any attention to it.
Oh my word. I was so wrong. So freaking wrong. Reading this book inspired me so much and encouraged me out of my frump in the most amazing ways. I haven’t been feeling very beautiful lately at all and after finishing this book, I felt my self-confidence rising deliciously and I’ve been so much more cheerful.
I’m falling in love with food. And realizing that delicious food is wonderful and OKAY. It’s just learning the art of balancing wonderful food and life. I’m aching to buy pretty things, finally get my hair cut, and secretly falling in love with all things French.
We watched Babette’s Feast (which made me cry because it was so beautiful and so relevant to my life) and French Kiss (Meg Ryan was a little weird in this role but Kevin Kline as Luc Teyssier was spot on) and now I’m longing to watch Amélie. I just can’t find it. Fuss.
So, on Sunday, I started coming alive again and pondering the harvest around me. I truly am blessed. I have so many riches. And now I long for my heart to learn gratefulness.