Can we just ignore the fact that I took my site down again?
I had a wonderfully long phone call with Sarah last night and although we’ve never met in person, we’ve been reading each other’s blogs for almost ten years. TEN YEARS. Our conversation brought up so much nostalgia for the early blogging days.
She asked what was going on with my blog-hopping and I honestly have trouble explaining it. On one hand, I love having a blog. It’s one of my only creative outlets and it’s fun to chronicle life happening around me. But on the other hand, I’m constantly worrying about do I write about that? can I be THAT real on my blog? I believe in authenticity but goodness, I can’t say THAT.
I also don’t think very many people even read my blog anymore so the community aspect (which was my favorite part long ago) has dwindled away. It’s not about I wish a lot of people read my blog as much as I really do miss the friendships and community that happened back in 2001.
I sound like an old grandma, don’t I? BACK IN MY DAY THE INTERNET WAS COOL AND BLOGGING WAS AWESOME. GET OFF MY LAWN.
Yes, I get that the “blogging is new” era is long gone and that’s perfectly fine. I’m glad so many people feel they have a voice and can write online. More information, more stories, more sharing – it’s all good. We all benefit.
If I could just stay in one place, accept that the community aspect may be incredibly different now, and write!
It’s possible that my fickleness stems from the drama over the past few years. When I finally made it through my depression, I wasn’t the same person. I’m so incredibly different than the girl who blogged in 2001 and maybe I’m afraid to write because I know the few people who do read my blog now will see such a difference.
I’ve accepted myself. I guess I’m just afraid other people won’t.