Archive for the ‘Thoughts’ Category

more later.

Sunday, December 11th, 2011

after too many Christmas cookies

I’ll catch up with Reverb Broads tomorrow. I’m behind on two posts but today has been exactly what I needed. And instead of staying up to write for hours, I’m going to dive into a cozy evening.

Between the re-arranging, baking, cleaning, laundry, playing inside a cardboard house for hours, and enjoying that Daniel didn’t have to work today – it’s been a perfect day.

Hugs to you all!

grocery shopping day.

Saturday, November 12th, 2011

Grocery shopping day!

We waltz into the store feeling on top of the world. A bit of flirting with Daniel, loads of sweet patience with my ever-wiggly Drew, and no, I can’t stop smelling the peaches. They are just THAT GOOD.

Aisle 5:

I’M ABOUT TO DRAG DREW OUT OF THIS STORE BY HIS HAIR. AND IF DANIEL FREAKS OUT ABOUT THE GROCERIES NOT BEING IN THE RIGHT “ORDER” ONE MORE TIME I AM GOING TO START FLAILING. THE FLAILING THAT INVOLVES SITTING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE AND EATING CHOCOLATE AND CRYING. I HATE EVERYONE. YES I WILL FROWN AT YOU LITTLE OLD LADY. GET OUT OF MY WAY PEOPLE. STUPID GROCERIES. LET’S JUST EAT BREAD ALL WEEK! STOP SAYING THAT I SEEM GRUMPY.

Aisle 7:

Tiny apologies. Awkwardly hunting for the right kind of cheese. Still feeling fussy. Swallowing pride. Another tiny apology.

Checkout:

OH NO. WE AREN’T PUTTING THE GROCERIES ON THE CONVEYOR BELT IN THE RIGHT ORDER. DANIEL IS FREAKING OUT. DREW IS TRYING TO TALK TO EVERYONE ABOUT EVERYTHING. STRANGER DANGER! TRY TO APPEAR NORMAL TO THE CASHIER. I’M NOT CRYING. MY EYES JUST FEEL WATERY.

The ride home:

Tiny apologies. A few snuggles. Holding hands. Deep breaths.

fickle on the glorious internet.

Friday, August 5th, 2011

Can we just ignore the fact that I took my site down again?

I had a wonderfully long phone call with Sarah last night and although we’ve never met in person, we’ve been reading each other’s blogs for almost ten years. TEN YEARS. Our conversation brought up so much nostalgia for the early blogging days.

She asked what was going on with my blog-hopping and I honestly have trouble explaining it. On one hand, I love having a blog. It’s one of my only creative outlets and it’s fun to chronicle life happening around me. But on the other hand, I’m constantly worrying about do I write about that? can I be THAT real on my blog? I believe in authenticity but goodness, I can’t say THAT.

I also don’t think very many people even read my blog anymore so the community aspect (which was my favorite part long ago) has dwindled away. It’s not about I wish a lot of people read my blog as much as I really do miss the friendships and community that happened back in 2001.

I sound like an old grandma, don’t I? BACK IN MY DAY THE INTERNET WAS COOL AND BLOGGING WAS AWESOME. GET OFF MY LAWN.

Yes, I get that the “blogging is new” era is long gone and that’s perfectly fine. I’m glad so many people feel they have a voice and can write online. More information, more stories, more sharing – it’s all good. We all benefit.

If I could just stay in one place, accept that the community aspect may be incredibly different now, and write!

It’s possible that my fickleness stems from the drama over the past few years. When I finally made it through my depression, I wasn’t the same person. I’m so incredibly different than the girl who blogged in 2001 and maybe I’m afraid to write because I know the few people who do read my blog now will see such a difference.

I’ve accepted myself. I guess I’m just afraid other people won’t.

lonely.

Saturday, November 6th, 2010

I went to sleep feeling angsty and I woke feeling pretty much the same way.

Only to find Rogert Ebert talking about loneliness.

The three things I want right now: soup in a bread bowl at Panera, an escape to a cozy place without having to drag my three year old along, and to feel less lonely even when surrounded by others.

354 days.

Monday, January 31st, 2005

Here’s hoping we won’t have this same weather a year from now.

But either way, I’m sure the weather will be the last thing on my mind.