octolilly [through the years]

I’ve spent this past week with Internet outages, lots of car drama, spring cleaning, and making furniture orders. There has been little time to write. But now I’m here with my cup of coffee and I plan to catch up.

In a world filled with more technological distractions than ever before, social networks, smart phones, etc, what strategies do you enforce in your life in order to stay focused on your goals and living life in real-time to the fullest? – Neha

I’m not sure I have any strategies to limit my time with technology other than making sure I spend face-time with the people I love. Hey, unexpected Face-Time pun! 

Our wedding officiator opened our ceremony with a welcome to the marriage of danielbergey.com and aelki.com (those were our respective blogs at the time). My husband and I met through blogging, had blogging friends in the ceremony/attendance, and it well-known that our community of friends had grown by leaps and bounds because of technology.

Daniel’s career means that he is in the Internet World 24/7. My career is being Queen Bee but I navigate through my everyday with the benefit of technology. Every bit of music that I enjoy is through Spotify. I haven’t purchased a CD in probably ten years. I keep track of my budget and health through many different apps. Daniel and I talk to each other throughout the day either online or on our iPhones. I use my Goodreads account religiously. Lately, I’ve been astonished at how much I’m enjoying reading ebooks more than regular books. I plan outings through meetup.com, I read an abundance of sites, I keep up with friends and family through Facebook, and I really can just keep going. I’m a nerd. I love it.

But yes, there are certainly moments when being connected is overwhelming. I think that is human. When I reach that point then I step away. A hot shower in the dark, alone time, a long walk (AUGH NATURE), or a board game with friends (no phones allowed) and I’m ready to delve back in.

Who was your first best friend? – Kristen

Her name was Jana. We were in the 4th grade. I can remember her face and her sweet demeanor but I can’t remember her last name or anything else. I tried to look her up after I got to high school but had no luck.

List all the idiotic things you have done for love. – List Your Self 

My list can be summed up with “ignored my gut feelings over and over.” Well, that, and the whole scenario with packing tape.

What three things do you want more of in your life? What three things do you want less of? – Krissy

1. Knowledge. I have a book on the Ancient World that we recently purchased at a library sale. It’s huge and I want to absorb it all. But I have so many other books to read right now. There are TED talks and the entire iTunes University within my reach but it requires time. Can I wish for more time? It frustrates me that I can’t remember some specifics I studied in high school and college. Now that I feel ready to apply myself better, I can’t get enough knowledge.

2. Healthy choices. I’ve been wavering around 11lbs lost this year and I feel a bit stuck. But better choices with food and exercise would help that.

3. Checking items off on my Mighty Life List. 

~

1. Stress. Whether it is from finances, parenting, or everyday life – less stress would be better. This often means proper planning and patience. Things I need to work on.

2. Time in between seeing family members. My mom and dad will be here in three weeks and Steve and Cassidy are moving to Ohio soon so they will just be three hours away. We’ll see everyone at Ben and Allyson’s wedding in August too. But normally we only see family members a few times each year and I dislike that.

3. Celebrity gossip. When I’m tired and brain dead I can’t stop reading celebrity gossip. Mostly to judge them. Yes, I’m adorable.

What’s in your garden? – Amy

I do not have a garden but I do have a dream of a secret garden one day. Not for vegetables – just beautiful flowers. I’ve always wanted an outdoor sanctuary.

These pictures are from my secret garden Pinterest board.

How do you define happiness – Dana

When you are laying down, the warmth of the sun feels like a light blanket on your skin, and neither the past nor future really matters because you enjoy the way things are. That is how I feel all the time when I’m happy. – Chico Marx

Being in an atmosphere of growth, feeling good about myself and the life I’m living, and pure contentment. 

Forget the iPhone and iPad. What invention would make your life better? – Niki

Teleportation. Space travel. A robot that cleans up my kitchen after every meal. Resealable cereal bags. Children with volume controls. A shower where I can store my favorite temperature. Ctrl+f for my brain. A robot masseuse. A sonic screwdriver.

If you were to play hooky from work today, what would you do instead? – Krissy

In my case, I assume this question means “if you weren’t a SAHM and had complete freedom to do anything and everything – what would it be?”

I would be curled up on the beach with a pile of books. Sans anyone else. A basket of fruit, sweet tea, and music.

Up: I finally completed something on my Mighty Life List.

Down: Being woken at 3am from our neighbors throwing furniture and screaming. It really shocked us (and scared us) because we’ve never heard them make noise. We ended up having to call the police because it escalated and we were worried for their safety.

Up: We are heading to Maryland for a visit in a few weeks.

Down: The reason we are going is because Grandpa is very, very sick. And we want to spend some time with him.

Up: My brother-in-law Ben just got engaged to the lovely Allyson and they are getting married in August!

Down: I have a bright red V on my chest. From sunburn while at the zoo. Ugh. I didn’t even think of putting on sunscreen and my pale skin just screams “OH SUN, BURN ME RIGHT NOW. PLEASE. I LOVE LOBSTER PINK.”

Up: The FDA is for the first time “publicly reassessing whether foods like Jell-O, Lucky Charms cereal and Minute Maid Lemonade should carry warnings that the bright artificial colorings in them worsen behavior problems like hyperactivity in some children.” This is a constant topic of conversation in our home.

Another Up: This Is Why I’m Broke. DRAGON SKULL INCENSE BURNER. SWORD HANDLE UMBRELLAS. DRAGON TOILET PAPER HOLDER. CHOCOLATE PLANETS. LABYRINTH AQUARIUM. SHARK SLEEPING BAG. Need I go on?

Drew,

It’s been a really long time since I’ve written you a newsletter. I stopped writing for awhile so I could just focus on living. It was a nice break but it’s Autumn now and seeing as I always come out of my shell at this time of year, I’ll take this creative stirring as a hint that I should embrace writing regularly again.

You are four and a half now! You think big thoughts, dream big dreams, and have loads more energy than your father and I combined.

We just had a lovely Halloween that undid a bit of our STRANGER DANGER enforcing. Up until now, you’ve been wary of strangers. But at some point on Halloween night, as you skipped down a road lit with ghostly pumpkins, you declared, “now that everyone knows me, they are ALL MY FRIENDS!”

You were still nervous about actually having to say “trick or treat” or even “thank you” but the minute that I talked to the stranger, I’d hear a tiny four year old voice behind me rattle off a bit of useless information.

Me: Happy Halloween! We have a nervous space rocket with us this evening.
Stranger: Hi! Welcome! Here’s some candy!
Drew, in a monotone voice: weparkedthecardowntheroadandisawlotsofkidsrunningaround.

So now we are back to smiling pleasantly at the people around us and not shrieking OH HEY YOU HEEEYYYYYY to everyone we see. At least you are past your phase wherein you shouted “PEOPLE!!” each time we went to the grocery store.

You see the world in black and white. If we’ve established rules on a certain subject, you become unbearable to be around if we deviate from the norm. “NO. THIS IS THE WAY WE DO IT. I DO NOT THINK YOU ARE RIGHT.” Your daddy and I chuckle, because you are just like him.

You also have a problem with anger, though. When you are really, really fussy – you shake a little, clench your fists, and grit your teeth. And darling, you get this from me. All your pillow-punching and shrieking breaks my heart because I know EXACTLY how you feel when you get frustrated. You are learning coping mechanisms. Soft things help calm us down. Classical music soothes. Warm baths comfort. And lying in bed and snuggling while we cry always makes us feel less lonely.

But being four and a half hasn’t just held tantrums! We’ve also watched you blossom as you learn about everything. You are still most certainly fascinated with machines, wheels, and HOW everything works. And for the first time ever, you realized that there was a time when you weren’t with us and your chin quivered as you said, “but I missed you so much when I wasn’t here.”

You are awesome, sweetie. I am proud of you and I love you so much. There is so much world out there for you to discover and I can’t wait to see your eyes sparkle as you realize there is even MORE to learn. Here’s to the next bit of discovery!

P.S. We’re still chronicling the funny things you say on bouncydrew.

While reading one of the most heart-wrenching stories yesterday (and afterwards, watching the video), I saw a quote on this blog that grabbed my heart.

“Take the time to be with the Lord as you piece it together again.”

I know that Angie’s story deals with tragedy much more severe than some of my heartache but I was really encouraged as I realized that those words apply to us all.

We don’t have to have all the answers and all the pieces together before we find ourselves before Him, just being.

God has accepted us right where we are, pieces astray and answers unknown. Christ paid our price and we have the beautiful, immense, rich love and grace that we can truly embrace and rest in.

P.S. I hope you do get a chance to view Angie’s story and video. Also, her husband is Todd, from Selah (their music is delicious.)