Each life experience leaves a layer of memory like a deposit of sediment: things we’ve loved and moments of contentment we’ve cherished that when recalled, reveal glimmers of our true selves.
Some women are hesitant to recall their past because they’re afraid they’ll dredge up painful memories. But just as each illness brings a gift for us if we will look for it, so each painful memory comes bearing a peace offering. There is nothing to fear. The past only asks to be remembered.
– Sarah Ban Breathnach
Archive for February, 2009
to be remembered.
Thursday, February 19th, 2009meme.
Wednesday, February 18th, 2009A meme about your significant other. Stolen from Facebook, Dooce, and Annie. Play along!
What are your middle names?
My middle name is Anne and his is Kenneth.
How long have you been together?
We’ve been together for 4 years and 3 months.
How long did you know each other before you started dating?
About a month.
Who asked whom out?
Daniel did. It was something about “so, are we going to make this for real? I guess you’re my girl.”
How old are each of you?
Me: 27
Him: 29
Whose siblings do you see the most?
Well, since I don’t have any siblings, we do, interestingly, end up seeing his more.
Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Finances.
Did you go to the same school?
Nope. I went to Bob Jones and Daniel was home-schooled in Baltimore.
Are you from the same home town?
No, I’m from Liberty, South Carolina and he doesn’t have a home town really. That sounds sad but I asked him…and he just gave me a puzzled look. I know he grew up in Pennsylvania and considers this his real “home state” but he lived in a few different cities here when he was a child.
Who is smarter?
Hands down, Daniel is. Absolutely without a doubt. We’re both nerds and we aren’t terribly secretive about that but he’s brilliant about pretty much everything. He knows the most trivia of anyone I’ve ever met and I’m constantly asking him to explain things like chemistry, physics, history, etc…and he knows how to explain it all. Which fascinates me because I don’t remember half of what I learned in school.
Who is the most sensitive?
That’s me.
Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Hmm. Since we moved here, I’m not sure. We don’t go to a lot of fancy diners multiple times because a toddler doesn’t always do well in those types of places. We have discovered that Drew likes the atmosphere at Cracker Barrel (he loves to look at the fire, rocking chairs, toys, etc) and he’s always behaved when we go there so I’d say that’s where we go more than any other restaurant. At least, since we’ve moved. And, when we aren’t eating at home.
Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Here, to Pennsylvania.
Who has the craziest exes?
Ha. Daniel doesn’t have any exes so I guess that’d be me. But none of my exes are crazy. That I know of. 😉
Who has the worst temper?
Yeah, that’s me. I’ve damaged things. Daniel just gets really, really quiet and goes into a shell. But I get loud and cry and have to TALK ABOUT FEELINGS and all that.
Who does the cooking?
I do, mostly. But in the past month, Daniel started cooking a lot more.
Who is the neat-freak?
I don’t really know…hmm. Neither of us freak out if there are clothes lying in the floor or towels in the bathroom. The laundry gets done, and so we’re mostly okay with it. But I do know that if Daniel is stressed about work or life in general, then the house will bother him much more. But he won’t ask me to do it – he’ll jump in and started straightening. And that’s when I know that ooooh, so the laundry was bothering you.
Who is more stubborn?
We are actually both very stubborn.
Who hogs the bed?
It used to me but I think I’m much better now.
Who wakes up earlier?
Always me. I used to wake up at 6:30 or earlier when we first got married (I’m very much an Early Bird and Daniel is a Late Owl) but as time has passed, I’ve totally switched and now I stay up late with Daniel and Drew and we all wake up slowly. But I always wake up before Daniel. I have to spend a considerable amount of time waking him and he gets fussy and ornery and stomps off to take his shower and then afterwards, he’s chipper and happy and a completely different man. Hehe.
Where was your first date?
At an Italian restaurant in Easley, SC. Capri’s.
Who is more jealous?
I don’t think either of us are really jealous.
How long did it take to get serious?
All during the month that we were “just talking” it was still very serious – so, I guess from the beginning.
Who eats more?
I don’t really know. Heh. Interesting. I can put away sweets and bread very easily and he rarely, I mean rarely, eats sweets. But he can eat boatloads of bananas and peanut butter and cereal and odd man food that I don’t eat very much of at all. And he gets seconds quite often of main dishes.
Who does the laundry?
I think we both keep it going pretty well. Sometimes he helps me out more and sometimes I have it all done. He likes to fold though.
Who’s better with the computer?
He is. But I get testy about asking him for computer help. I like to solve the problem myself, thankyouverymuch, especially blog-related trouble.
Who drives when you are together?
He does. Unless he has a headache or feels sick.
In the immortal words of dooce: “Feel free to answer some or all of the same questions about your significant other in the comments, or leave a link to your website if you prefer answering there.”
I tag Shannon, Becca, Superbeck, Rick, Wendy, Kerry, and Kari.
febreeze and zombies.
Wednesday, February 18th, 2009If perfume was made from Febreeze, I’d totally buy it. I’m just saying. I’ve been cleaning so much in the past two days that I feel like I’ve been spritzing it every 5 seconds. Come to think of it, I probably have been spritzing it that much. No wonder the bottle is almost empty.
Besides the cloud of Febreeze that is apparently hovering in our house right now, we’ve also been eating a lot of waffles, watching Austin Powers movies, and I’ve been surfing the Crime Library and watching CSI episodes a little too much.
Last night, Daniel was going to pick up dinner on his way home. I turned on the pole light that is right beside the driveway, opened the front door, and waited for him. He got home pretty soon and walked in while flipping through the mail. And he had no food with him.
“Hi and all that but where’s dinner?”
“Oh, riiiiight (Austin Powers influence), I knew I forgot something.”
And with that he turned around and walked back out the door.
I thought he meant that it was in the car. But after five minutes passed, I wondered what on earth had he purchased that would require five minutes of slow and heavy lifting before he could bring it in the house.
I ran to the door and looked outside and the CAR WAS GONE.
OH MY WORD. I immediately imagined that five guys in black leather had jumped out from our leave-less bushes and had forced him into the car at gunpoint and ordered him to drive to an undisclosed location where they would chop his fingers off slowly until he revealed where on earth he bought that awesome hair gel he’s been using.
And thaaaaat’s when I told myself, “Jennifer, you need to stop reading Crime Library. And watching CSI.”
It turns out he had forgot to even PURCHASE dinner.
We have another day of cleaning planned. And by we, I mean me. Drew is pretty much just driving cars on the floor, the couch, the window sill, the high-chair legs, the dining room table, and perfecting his zombie walk.
What’s his zombie walk, you ask?
Well, it’s where he walks like a zombie. I kid you not. He sticks both arms straight out in front of him and lowers his head until his chin touches his collar bone and then waddles through the house. With a wide grin on his face. And in a high pitched voice, he says, “look at me! look at me!”
Neither Daniel nor I have taught him this. I promise. He’s just started doing it and he’s continuing it because he gets the most awesome reaction from his mommy.
a-flutter.
Monday, February 16th, 2009Okay, I’ve been dying to announce this, and I’ve finally been given the go-ahead from all parties involved.
The Bergey side of the family received a bundle of announcements on Saturday, Valentine’s Day.
One son called to say that he and his family (hello, that’s us) were possibly moving to Michigan in the next few months.
And then another son called to say he’d asked his girlfriend to marry him. And that she’d said yes.
And then another son called and said the very same thing.
So, Tim & Danielle and Steve & Cassidy are all engaged and I think Grandpa said it best when he said, “all of this makes my heart a-flutter.”
I’m very excited for both couples. Tim and Steve are like brothers to me and I think they rock. I have always hoped they’d find girls who I thought rocked as well. And they have. 🙂
Here’s to the wedding bells and wiggliness ahead!
22 months old.
Monday, February 16th, 2009Drew,
I’m rather late in writing this newsletter this month. But I’ve finally curled up in the green chair and decided to write before I forget all the wonderfulness that you’ve experienced this month.
Right after the first of the year, you figured out how to open your bedroom door. Your daddy and I were lying on the bed one evening, relaxing and talking about how our day had went, and you were supposed to be quietly reading in your room. All of the sudden, we heard a door open and you walked into the hallway and said, “HI MOMMY. HI DADDY.”
It was pretty cute but it’s obviously become a bit more difficult to keep you in one place when you really, really want to go stare at the bathtub and contemplate hopping inside.
We took a trip to Baltimore this month to see some of our family and celebrate Grandpa’s birthday and you got to meet Uncle Bob and Aunt Glenna. Uncle Bob has a delicious camera and is a professional photographer and you sweetly posed for him often.
You’ve also started to sing. Your favorite songs are Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, Jesus Loves Me, and sometimes…Twinkle Jesus. Which I actually tried to sing once because how can a mommy refuse a sweet boy who is asking in all sincerity for you to please sing Twinkle Jesus!?
When it’s time to head to bed at night, there is a long list of things that must occur. You say night night to all of the items you can see (the couch, chair, wall, moon, window, iPod, etc.) and sometimes include the helicopter that goes over our house occasionally.
You have already figured out your colors, surprisingly. And you get them right about 95% of the time. When you narrate during the day, which is apparently what your daddy did when he was a little boy (NERD ALERT), you say “hi blue truck, there sa geen ball, bye bye lellow hat.”
We often see you pretending while you play. You have a bundle of balls to play with and when you are particularly giggly, you’ll grab a handful and run in the corner and say “how many balls? FOUR balls.”
We’ve been stuck inside most days during this month, and it became obvious that it wasn’t helping mommy very much so we snuck in a trip to the park during the day when daddy came home for lunch. It was a rare day when it reached 60, and was a bit warmer. You and I both loved being outdoors and you finally got in the toddler swing at the park without throwing a giant fit.
This month also marks the first time you’ve thrown up. 🙁 I’m not sure you’ll care to know that as you grow up, but hey, why not. You’ve been an exceptionally healthy kid – no ear infections and just the occasional cold. I’m not sure if you had a stomach bug or just played too hard after eating dinner. Either way, you were over it soon and back to normal.
You’ve also taken to rocking all of your animals in your arms and burping them. I pretended with your stuffed bear one afternoon and you watched, wide-eyed. And sure enough, it’s become something you do every single day.
One of the odd and terribly hilarious games you’ve been playing lately is Spin the Maggot. Mom, before you fall over in horror, please keep reading. 😉
We have a magnet on the fridge that has a woven string that dangles below it. Drew has discovered that he can pull it off the fridge and dash away while spinning the magnet as hard as he can. With glee. Of course. And all the while, he shouts “SPIN THE MAGGOT SPIN THE MAGGOT.”
The first time we heard him say that, we slowly looked at each other and said, “did he just say what I think he said?”
You’ve also started doing a Smiley Face and a Silly Face and a Frownie Face. I first implemented this Amazing and Wonderful Parenting Technique one afternoon when you were stomping around with the biggest frown on your face. I was making macaroni and cheese and you wanted some right now thank you very much and I was saying, you have to wait, please. You frowned so hard I thought your chin was going to fall off so I said, “I see your frownie face. Now can you please let me see your smiley face?”
You absolutely understood what that meant and proceeded to grin so wide that you looked like the Joker. It’s become our secret psychological move whenever you get out of sorts.
Here’s a good example of how funny it is:
The Happy Face
The Fussy Face
The Silly Face
The last thing I’ll mention is that you’ve really made your daddy and I be more social this month. Whenever we go to the grocery store or shopping, you say HI to everyone you see – in a VERY loud voice and with big blue eyes and it always shocks folks and then we have to stop and talk, etc.
Your daddy and I are both introverts when it comes to strangers and so it’s just been really odd and yet humorous. We were at Barnes & Noble yesterday afternoon, looking for The Great Divorce, when we rounded a corner and you saw a father and son walking along. You swelled your chest up and shouted loudly, “HI! HI! HI!” I just knew you were going to add “PEOPLE!” to it and then once again, we’d look like parents who never get out of the house at all.
Hmm. Moving on.
The father of the little boy just guffawed and then leaned down to his son and said “that little boy just greeted you!” I think the little boy just thought Drew was a freak for being so friendly but it’s really quite hysterical that you are SO happy to see other people.
I’m not sure if it is because I started teaching you early on to say hi to the moon, the door, the sunshine, the cars, the flowers, and then you just decided to include EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE WORLD as well.
No matter. There isn’t anything wrong with being friendly. I just need to somehow convince you that some strangers need the Fussy Face instead of “OH HI I LOVE YOU.”
I love you very, very much and look forward to watching how you change and grow this next month.
Love, Mommy