octolilly [through the years]

If the you of today could go back in time and give advice to any of the previous yous, which age would you visit and what would you tell them? – Kristen

Dear 9 Year Old Me:

It’s 4th grade and you are miserable. Whether you want to admit it or not, your generally fussy attitude towards everything may very well stem from Portrait Day. It’s fate, darling. You will wear a poofy-sleeved dress with pearls and you will look completely out of place.

A boy named Russ will drive you bonkers and before you know it, you will want to hit him so badly. I’m warning you, little one. If you slap him so hard that you leave a handprint on his face – he will not forget it. You will be enemies.

However, you and he will rediscover each other in the middle of a store at age nineteen and all will be forgiven.

Dear 11 Year Old Me:

You and your mom will trudge up the basement stairs with bags of groceries. You push a rolling chair into the kitchen and stand on it so you can put the canned goods away. The chair slips, you fall, and as you lie in the floor and whimper about your bruised hip, the phone rings.

Papa is much worse so your mom decides to head to the hospital while you carefully put the rest of the groceries away.

Your hip gets better and before you know it, you find yourself grooving to country music in the living room. It’s not the music we listen to at home but it makes you feel alive (HONEY LET’S JUST TAKE A MOMENT HERE – FIND SOME BETTER MUSIC) so you are whirling, twirling, and spinning in glee when you hear a knock at the door.

Someone will be on your front step with the news of your Papa’s death. Your heart will be broken because not only is he your Papa, he’s the most wonderful Papa a granddaughter could ever want.

Sweetie, you are going to be burdened with guilt for years. No, God is not punishing you for listening to country music by killing your Papa. It’s not your fault. Not at all.

Dear 13 Year Old Me:

In between sucking on jolly rancher sticks at Late Stay in Junior High, you will find yourself imitating Pantene shampoo commercials with your friends. You’ll line up against the brick wall, watch the boys play basketball, and Try To Flirt.

Yes, you’ll master the hair toss but you will look like such a dork. And when your hair gets stuck on the jolly rancher stick you’re sucking on…well, really. You’re sort of asking for it.

No, you’re flirting won’t get much better. And please, for the love of all that is good and pure, STOP SHAVING YOUR EYEBROWS.

Dear 14 Year Old Me:

When someone suggests that everyone in the group should try to steal something from the campus book store, could you please stop and use your brain for a second? I don’t care that the stuffed pig is adorable and that the boy you are crushing on has taken to whispering French words in your ear. Both are bad news.

You will face peer pressure on a really large scale this year. And you’ll find yourself in a huge mess, lose many friendships, and sweetie, you’re going to really break your parents’ hearts. You will watch your parents have to choose whether to turn their daughter in for doing something illegal or whether to cover it all up. And when they turn you in, you will feel abandoned.

But after being kicked out of school, working all summer to pay restitution for everything you stole, and spending a lot of quality time with your parents, you will realize that this year is the game changer. You will become incredibly close to your family and you will finally catch a glimpse of how much they truly love you.

Dear 16 Year Old Me:

You are closing the chapter on your brief bout of homeschooling and adventuring back to the Academy. And you are nervous about making friends.

One girl, Kerry, is going to take you under her wing and you’ll be the best of friends. You really have no idea how special this girl is but she will put up with your crazy and deal it right back to you time and time again.

You’ll crush on the ushers in the FMA, you’ll swoon over operas, you’ll watch movies at her house and long for another era. You’ll find yourself joining a society where it’s acceptable to thread yarn through the clothes of a large group of people.

But most of all, you’ll realize that some friendships really do last throughout the years. You have already seen some friendships fall apart and you have no idea of the people who will walk out of your life in the next few years but Kerry, she’s different. She’ll be there all along.

Even when your politics start to differ and even when you disagree on things that are so very dear to our hearts – each time you see each other, it all melts away. As it should.

She’s a gem. Appreciate her.

Dear 18 Year Old Me:

You’re going to meet a boy this year. And you will have some amazing times. But you’ll realize it’s not meant to be.

I just wish you could choose another day to break up with him. You know, NOT April Fool’s Day.

And then when you get back together a few months later and discover that it’s still not meant to be?

You really, really, really should NOT break up with him on April Fool’s Day. Again.

You’re a piece of work, missy.

Dear 22 Year Old Me:

You know those dreams you are having right now? Where you get behind on all of your school projects and don’t finish in time to graduate from college?

Guess what? YOU MAKE IT. You get everything done and you actually graduate!

However, you still have those dreams for years afterwards. I’m so sorry.

Dear 23 Year Old Me:

You met The Boy. He is MARRYING you next year. You’ll have your beautiful winter wedding. Everything will be dreamy.

And you’ll boldly tell him two things upon engagement: “you must join my church and we must never leave South Carolina.”

Dear, he never joins. And then you move away to Pennsylvania. And then to Michigan. You’re with the Yankees now! And churchless! And even though those two things are what is important to you right now, and you can’t imagine ever being happy otherwise, you are going to be just fine.

Take a deep breath as you start out on this new journey. And remember that you are two for the road.

At the same time, they can also appreciate the fact that each of them will change on this journey – as surely as the terrain transforms beneath their feet. Dark nights, heavy loads, long winds, and the heat of the day have a way of shaping one’s soul. They will begin to see things through new eyes. They will find a pace that suits them both. They will adjust to weaknesses – whether of bone or sinew, or of the heart. They will develop attitudes and attributes significantly different from the way they viewed things at the trailhead.

Dear 26 Year Old Me:

You’re about to become a mother. And in a whirlwind moment, you’ll realize that you know nothing and you can’t imagine how your parents did it.

The first year of Drew’s childhood is going to be hazy. You don’t know much about post-partum depression but you are about to discover how overwhelming it all is.

But you will make it. Thankfully, you’ve been blessed with an easy baby, and The Boy is taking care of you both. Your friends and family are loving you the best they know how and you really just need to soak it all up.

Little Tiny Drew is going to grow into the most wonderfully mischievous boy ever and you’re going to have the time of your life. Remember how your mother always said you needed to learn patience? Well, you may not master it anytime soon but you are about to start on an adventure wherein patience is most necessary.

Mothering is not for the weary.

I’m taking part in a blogging group called Reverb Broads that will be suggesting daily blogging prompts this December. If you want to join in, feel free! Go here or here to learn more.

What are three things you are better at than most people? – Catie

This prompt is causing me way more consternation than it should. I can’t think of anything that I do better than most people.

CUE SAD MUSIC.

So I’m going to go eat my turkey sandwich and try to be proud that I’m so average.

/sniffle

I’m taking part in a blogging group called Reverb Broads that will be suggesting daily blogging prompts this December. If you want to join in, feel free! Go here or here to learn more.