octolilly [through the years]

“How did you become more of a grown-up this year? Or did you pull a Peter Pan and stubbornly remain childlike?” – Bethany

Even though I spent a considerable amount of time photographing Lego’s this evening, I would say that I’ve possibly become more of a grown-up this year. Possibly.

In April, I rushed towards thirty with my arms wide open. A few people cautioned me, sagely, that I’d hit a rockbottom moment where thirty felt like eighty. But it didn’t. I felt freedom from my twenties (which were a swirled bit of poo in my humble opinion) and ALIVE.

Slowly, but surely, I see a wide open horizon ahead where I can change the things about me that bug me to no end. I have a list. Don’t we all? It’s as though for the majority of my life I’ve felt as though I am in a pattern that I can’t escape. But now, magically, I feel encouraged that Things Will Change.

When you grow up you tend to get told that the world is the way it is and your life is just to live your life inside the world, try not to bash into the walls too much, try to have a nice family, have fun, save a little money. That’s a very limited life. Life can be much broader, once you discover one simple fact, and that is that everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use. Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again.” – Steve Jobs

Although I’m not out to build a piece of technology to change the world, I am seeing that I don’t have to settle for normal.

I have goals. I have dreams. I can still reach them. And it doesn’t hurt to add a bit of childlike fun to the mix.

This means sparkly rainbow barrettes, Lisa Frank stickers, and Legos. Obviously.

I’m taking part in a blogging group called Reverb Broads that will be suggesting daily blogging prompts this December. If you want to join in, feel free! Go here or here to learn more.

“What is the stupidest thing you did this year? What about in your whole life? You can take stupid to mean: embarrassing, dangerous, funny, lame, whatever you consider stupid.” – Kassie

This year: Attempting to go rollerskating with Daniel, Drew, and some friends at a Mardi Gras party.

I’d never been rollerskating before and had fantastic images of swooshing in between people, striped socks, derby girls, and beads flying. We entered the fray with wild abandon. Daniel kept Drew from dancing out onto the rink while I found skates.

I sat down, slid them on, and stood up. WHOAAAAAAAA. Wobble wobble wobble splat. My friends started zooming and I sat on the bench. Okay, okay, I can do this. I’ll try holding onto the wall. OH UGH WOBBLE WOBBLE SPLAT. Why did a tiny five year old just waltz by me and give me that look? How can she do this? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

I tried so many times. It was deliciously horrid. I managed a small laugh when I saw another girl having my same problem. We both painfully smiled and shrugged. One of my friends twirled around me with a “oh, you just glide like this…” and she gloriously swirled and swooshed and whirled. I put one foot out and then AUUUHHHGGHH. No. No. Just no.

It didn’t help that my son saw my wobbling and began shrieking “MOMMY IS GOING TO GET HURT!”

So I sat on my little bench the rest of the night. No dreamy derby for me.

My whole life: I’m sure there are some stupid things I’m not remembering but this one is something I think of pretty often: Cashing out my 401(k) to buy children’s clothes that I never sold.

When I quit working, I had a bit of money put away in my 401(k). Not a ton but it was almost $5,000. I had a friend who had quit her job and become an eBay maven so I decided to buy a pallet of children’s clothing from an outlet store. The idea was that I’d sell each outfit on eBay for $7 or more and make up the cost and much more.

A semi pulled up to our apartment that weekend and we moved boxes and boxes and boxes of children’s clothes. And for the next five years, I lugged those clothes around with us every single time we moved. And we’ve moved quite a bit.

I had hundreds and hundreds of outfits. I think I sold about ten on eBay, gave a handful away, and donated the rest to The Salvation Army this past summer.

Beyond stupid, I know.

I’m taking part in a blogging group called Reverb Broads that will be suggesting daily blogging prompts this December. If you want to join in, feel free! Go here or here to learn more. And thank you to Bethany for the idea!