octolilly [through the years]

“The very least, or what seems to us great, every change of the seasons, everything which touches us in mind, body, or estate, whether brought about through this outward senseless nature, or by the will of man, good or bad, is overruled to each of us by the all-holy and all-loving will of God. Whatever befalls us, however it befalls us, we must receive as the will of God. If it befalls us through man’s negligence or ill-will or anger, still it is, in even the least circumstances, to us- the will of God. For if the least thing could happen to us without God’s permission, it would be something out of God’s control. God’s providence or His love would not be what they are. Almighty God Himself would not be the same God; not the God whom we believe, adore, and love.”

– E. B. Pusey

The more I walk with God the more I realize how true this is. No matter what is thrown my way, I must take it as His will and ask the most important question, Father, what will You teach me? I want the strength to trust in the darkest of valleys and the strong faith of Rahab. She didn’t completely understand the LORD God of the Israelites but she had seen and heard enough to trust her life and her family’s life for Him. I’ve tasted of His goodness and even if I cannot understand God’s leading, even when I cannot know the reason why He has chosen this path, I will trust when I cannot see.

Oh, great God, be small enough to hear me now
There were times when I was crying
From the dark of Daniel’s den
And I have asked You once or twice
If you would part the sea again
But tonight I do not need a fiery pillar in the sky
Just wanna know you’re gonna hold me if I start to cry
Oh, great God, be small enough to hear me now.

Oh, great God, be close enough to feel You now
There have been moments when I could not
Face Goliath on my own
And how could I forget we’ve marched around
Our share of Jericho’s
But I will not be setting out a fleece for you tonight
Just wanna know that everything will be alright
Oh, great God, be close enough to feel You now.

All praise and all honor be
To the God of ancient mysteries
Whose every sign and wonder turn the pages of our history
But tonight my heart is heavy
And I cannot keep from whispering this prayer
“Are You there?”

And I know You could leave writing on the wall
That’s just for me
Or send wisdom while I’m sleeping
Like in Solomon’s sweet dreams
But I don’t need the strength of Samson
Or a chariot in the end
Just want to know that You still know how many hairs
Are on my head
Oh, great God, be small enough to hear me now.

– Small Enough, Nicole Nordeman

Is it fair to say I was lured away

By endless distractions and lovelier attractions then?

Or fairer still, my own free will

Is the better one to blame for this familiar mess I’ve made.

So I would understand if you were out of patience

And I would understand if I was out of chances

The distance left between east and west

Is how far you would go to forgive the debt I owe

And thrown into the sea the wicked ways in me

Will never have a chance to wash back on the sand

So I would understand if you would make me pay

And I would understand lying in the bed I made again

But your mercies are new every morning

So let me wake with the dawn

And when the music is through, or so it seems to be

Let me sing a new song

Old things gone

Every day it’s true, you make all your mercies new.

– Mercies New, Nicole Nordeman