Archive for the ‘The Journey’ Category

challenges.

Friday, March 14th, 2003

During my International Marketing class yesterday, Peter and Ruth Thomas came to speak about life in the corporate world. Our professor had told us a few things before their arrival and one of those things was that they are exceptionally wealthy and have 50+ combined years in high-level management. Ruth was one of the few women who reached the upper level management when women were told they should stay at home. This couple quickly made it to the top of the corporate world in no time.

Unexpectedly, Peter began having heart problems and found himself in the hospital with chest pains. Triple bypass surgery was scheduled. He said, as he was lying naked on the steel table, covered in a green sheet that he suddenly realized all he had been pursuing would not satisfy. The last thing he remembers is the nurses frantically leaning over him as his heart rate dropped suddenly. He woke up with a friend of the family presenting the Gospel to him. The tears poured down his face as he told of accepting Christ as his Savior. All of the sudden, everything that they had been living for didn’t matter. Peter spoke with his boss and informed him that there were new rules now. No longer would he leave on Sundays to jet to Australia (to be gone for five days and then return for a weekend relationship with his wife) but he would leave only during the week. He made it clear that he would be in church on Sunday and that if he was out of the country during the week that the company must pay for any phone calls he made to Ruth. The final straw was broken when Peter overheard his CEO bragging that he hadn’t attended the high school or college graduation for any of his daughters. It was clear that this corporate world was nothing that Peter wanted to be a part of any longer.

He now works as a cross-cultural developer for team management. A few days ago, he returned from Kuwait City, where he’d been mending relations between two companies. Apparently, the CEO of a company in Spain was in Kuwait City to meet with a South Korean CEO of a company based out of New York City. The Spanish CEO didn’t go to the airport to meet this man and the South Korean man became horribly offended. Peter traveled to Kuwait City to mend the situation. After many talks and open-ended discussions, he made the Spanish CEO take the other gentleman to the ritziest restaurant in downtown Kuwait City…and it saved a $1.5 billion project!

This couple said so many things that challenged and sobered me. In just a few months, I will be leaving this bubble to enter the business world. Maintaining my testimony is essential and as a woman I will be faced with the issues that could damage it within seconds. Ruth spoke of business trips she had to take and facing the realization that she was the only woman there. She received many propositions from high-level management. Listening to her warnings unleashed something that I have hidden inside for sometime. I love business, especially marketing, but I would throw that away in a second to be a wife and a mother. The choices that I would face as a career woman truly scare me. I know that the values I hold deep within my heart aren’t going to change but the fact that I would have to choose between values and money is sad. Ruth warned us to never put ourselves in a situation that would clash with our values. The corporate world thinks nothing of lying or flirting to win a contract. Everyone has a price at which they can be bought…but as a Christian I don’t want to choose dishonesty to gain $20,000 even if I have a child who is in serious need of surgery.

I know it has been God’s will for me to be a business major and I thoroughly enjoyed my internship. However, during the board meetings- when the CEO of the hospital system would rant and rave only to subtly compliment me on my dress…I would get chills. The job fair that was held a few weeks ago disgusted me as well. There were more than 50 companies present but I had to leave just after speaking with two. I couldn’t handle the large hovering groups of leering businessmen. My heart just fears the corporate world. Part of me wants to appreciate my business education and then do something entirely different. The other part of me says that I must prepare myself to interview with these companies no matter what.

praise.

Wednesday, March 12th, 2003

There are times when I wish that I knew how to play the viola. Warm sunshine is spilling all over the land, breezes are dancing, and I long to dash down to the creek and sit on a tree and play my heart out. I find peace and comfort in music and to realize that He accepts my praise is overwhelming.

Praise him with the timbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs. Psalm 150:4 (Of course, this makes me wonder how I would praise the Lord with James)

death.

Monday, March 10th, 2003

This post really brings back a swarm of memories. Death has always been a part of my life. My parents thought nothing of holding me in their arms while they passed the casket of a dear friend. My pitter-pattering could be heard through the funeral homes and as the years passed and people died in our church…I became quiet familiar with Robinson Funeral Home. The same men wear the same suits, the same fake grieving smiles, and the same shiny black shoes. They have known me since I was extra short with curly blonde hair…to now (still short and curly blonde hair). Death was tragic and tears always came but it was presented to me as a point of life that simply cannot be ignored.

I realized during the elementary school that some of my friends had actually never been to a funeral. That shocked me. I have gone to more funerals than weddings. I’m not warped because of it and I know it has been healthy for me.

We lived in a duplex apartment for two years while our home was being built. One afternoon, my mom and I went grocery shopping. We came home and began putting up groceries one by one. I was standing in a rolling chair (I’m not a smart girl at times) when it flipped out from under me and I landed on my hip. The phone rang at the same time and my mom ran to the phone while I began moaning. I heard her gasp and saw her face turn white. She slowly hung up the phone and asked if I was all right. I quickly stood up and asked her what was wrong. She told me that my Papa wasn’t doing well and that she was going to go check on him. I asked if I could go along with her and she stood for a minute at the top of the stairs, just thinking. Her head shook slowly and she motioned for me to finish putting up the groceries. I put up cans of soup, bread, cereal and butter and threw away the plastic bags that littered the kitchen. In my self-centered world, I was more concerned with having a good time than worrying or even praying about my Papa. I walked into the tiny living room and began blaring the music. I remember the very details of what I was thinking and doing when the doorbell rang. With slow steps, I walked to our front door. My friend Kevin was standing on the other side of the door and he was hiding his hands in his pockets and his eyes shifted from mine to the flowerpot on the front porch. In a few minutes, he whispered to me that my Papa had just died. My immediate reaction was out of anger. My Papa was my world. We were very close and I was kept from saying goodbye. The feelings of guilt soon overwhelmed me as I remembered that as he was taking his final breaths…I was blaring music and dancing to my hearts content.

However, not all of my memories of death are sad. The funeral of George Cordell will always stand out in my mind. His gentle smile was always welcoming and his deep laugh was enough to make the coldest heart thaw. The funeral service was more of a praise service than anything and the spirit was warm and the tears were not of sadness but of praise to the One who had taken him home. The most spectacular moment of the funeral was the graveside service. There were literally tons of people standing on the side of this cliff in the hills of Tennessee. Huge oak trees stood guard over the land and the wind chimes placed in the branches kept ringing out a hauntingly beautiful melody as the wind danced. Slowly, and with many tears we began to sing and the chorus echoed through the hills with a power that seemed unnatural. The wind chimes accompanied us as we sang and his home going became a monumental place in my life. A place where I felt His presence in ways I never had before.

wonder.

Monday, March 10th, 2003

Do you think doctrine determines fellowship?  

adonai.

Sunday, March 9th, 2003

One single drop of rain
Your salty tear became blue ocean
One tiny grain of sand turning in your hand
A world in motion

You’re out beyond the furthest morning star
Close enough to hold me in your arms

Adonai
I lift up my heart and i cry
My adonai
You are maker of each moment
Father of my hope and freedom
Oh, my adonai!

One timid faithful knock
Resounds upon the rock of ages
One trembling heart and soul
Becomes a servant bold and courageous

You call across the mountains and the seas
I answer from the deepest part of me

From age to age you reign in majesty
And today you’re making miracles in me

~ Avalon