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four year old checkup highlights.

Wednesday, July 20th, 2011

– The pediatrician and nurse both said it was very rare to see a four year old who has excellent hearing, vision, vocabulary, doesn’t wet the bed at night, is in the 75% percentile as far as height and weight, looks as if he won’t need braces (how do they even KNOW that?!), and then the doctor proceeded to say (I kid you not!) “you should have more kids if they are going to be like this.” :O I didn’t know whether to be proud, embarrassed, or offended.

– He aced the 54 questions about gross motor skills, verb tenses, relationships with others, and even drew awesome pictures wherein they were impressed that he drew arms, legs, and fingers on a stick-figure Mommy.

– Apparently he should know how to unbutton his own pants now, brush his teeth by himself, and be serving himself at the table. Yeah, right. HAVE YOU SEEN MY CHILD? He would have his toothbrush in his pants and be throwing peas at everyone if I let him have that much control. Wait, do I sound like a control freak?

– When the doctor asked him why his hands were so warm, Drew said, “my hands are warm because they were in the sun. And the sun is a BRIGHT STAR THAT IS VERY HOT. That is why my hands are warm. Your hands are cold.”

– He got caught up on some immunizations that I’ve been lazy about (boo me!) and although we spent several days before talking about shots and why it was important to get them, he was certainly shrieking by the FOURTH shot. But he was very brave and even told me later that he would tell his friends to be brave too if they needed shots.

– So, it wasn’t eczema that he’s been suffering with for four weeks. No wonder the cortisone wasn’t helping. He has Tinea versicolor. For about fifteen minutes, I don’t think I blinked as I couldn’t get past Tinea versicolor means “multicolored ringworm.”

MY KID HAS RAINBOW COLORED WORMS INSIDE HIS BODY?

Yes, for a very small second, I wanted to see the worms.

But then I was back to freaking out.

I was relieved to discover that he doesn’t actually have worms. He has a fungal infection of the skin (cue gagging) that is caused by a type of yeast that is normally found on human skin. It only causes problems if a.) ones body is susceptible to the fungus and b.) if you live in a hot climate.

Apparently Drew is rather susceptible and the recent hot weather caused a flareup. Unfortunately, once you have it, you can deal with it on and off for years. 🙁 But it is easily treatable. I just gave him a bath with medicinal shampoo and after three or so days of that, we should see his rashes clearing up completely. And then that means we have to avoid excessive heat and sweating all summer.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. We’re visiting South Carolina in a few weeks. Why, I’m sure we won’t deal with excessive heat or sweating there. 😉

So, with nerdy parents who prefer to be indoors anyway, I imagine Drew will find out about nature and outside things from the Internet.

OR ELSE THE RAINBOW COLORED WORMS WILL COME BACK.

P.S. He is not contagious.

P.S.S. My kid keeps abusing me.

Posted in Drew, Mothering | Comments Closed

sickly drew, decking halls, and team coco.

Tuesday, November 9th, 2010

Around 4am, I heard a whimpering from Drew’s room and my feet hit the floor. I knew that sound. By the time I knelt by his pillow, he was crying softly and holding his hands up in the air.

“It’s so sticky. I got sick.”

That began a day of Overwhelmed Horribleness that I haven’t experienced in awhile. Now that I think about it, today was probably the first time I’ve seen Drew this sick. He’s had a pretty healthy childhood and the crippling feeling of helplessness was new to me. My adrenalin kicked in at 4:01am and I’ve been running high all day but throughout it all, I’ve been battling fears left and right.

He got sick pretty much every single hour throughout the day and he did not subscribe to the notion that when one is dealing with such an event, one should hover near a bathroom or bucket. Instead, he would start making a shrieking noise and then run frantic through the apartment like he was chasing an invisible ferret. He’d hop off the couch and the noise would start and I’d grab The Sick Bowl and encourage him that I was going to take care of him and everything was going to be okay. But no, he would dart into the kitchen and then whirl around and crawl quickly through the dining room only to dash high speed through the living room and then wobble down the hall and then swoooosh into his room and under the bed. All the while, “AAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEE.” I finally convinced him later in the day that my way was much better but in the early morning hours, I cleaned a lot of carpet and did a lot of laundry. I’m sure his fears were just simply that he didn’t remember what getting sick felt like and it was freaking him out.

After four baths, lots of tv-watching, and reading Snow a billion times, He carefully slid out of the recliner and said, “can I have the snow-globe please?”

I was shocked because he hadn’t played AT ALL today. I was shocked and immediately wiggly because I knew he was feeling better.

So I marched over to the christmas tree and pulled the snow-globe ornament off and gave it to him. And he pranced away and then delved into cars and spinning and before I knew it, he was back to normal.

Yes. I said christmas tree.

I know it’s only November 9.

We went shopping a few days ago and Drew fell in love with all the christmas trees. After we got home that afternoon, he began asking WHERE IS OUR TREE and PLEASE GET IT OUT and Daniel and I just grinned and looked at each other.

And we put the christmas tree up!

Judge away! ^_^

So my little boy is sleeping, the tree is sparkling, and we’re cozy in the living room. Waiting for Conan.

P.S. Have you seen his new ad for American Express?

Posted in Drew, Mothering, The Everyday | Comments Closed

parenting in the present, with joy.

Tuesday, July 13th, 2010

One of my online friends, Annie, recently linked to an article on Facebook that discusses joyless parenting. After clicking on the link about a week ago, I read the first two paragraphs and then had to add it to my Read Later file because I already had tears in my eyes and my stomach ached.

It ached because I’ve said “I love Drew but I hate my life” so many times that it breaks my heart. Each time those words slip out of my mouth I spend the next five minutes desperately clammering to Daniel I HOPE YOU KNOW I LOVE DREW and DO YOU THINK I’M A BAD PERSON? He always smiles so sweetly to me and calms me with things like yes, you’re a good mother and a good person. You’ve just been through a lot. You’ll adjust.

That’s all well and good but after I finally got the courage to read the entire article, I knew that I couldn’t just wait for Someday When I’d Adjust. I’m not suffering with crippling depression anymore and mothering for me isn’t so much about resentment (as it was during the most horrid days of depression) anymore as it is about joyless repetition. I know that’s horrible. 🙁 It hurts to type that.

It isn’t through any fault of Drew’s though! He’s the most genuine, loving, happy little boy and even if he WAS a fussy kid, it still wouldn’t be his fault that I have succumbed to the lie that modern parenting is drudgery. I haven’t thought it was all drudgery though – we have had these AMAZING moments lately, when the stars are aligned, in which we’re all three HAPPY and SWOONY and I suddenly think, wow, parenting is fun! But it’s as though my brain has categorized mothering as something I have to live through and that it’s mostly difficult, fussy, and I may have one or two days a month that are wiggly.

But that is not what I want at all. I want my relationship with Drew, for as long as we each have breath (and my hope is that we’ll be able to giggle together until we’re both old and wrinkly, wondering where time has gone), to be wonderful, delightful, fun, and dreamy. I want to walk with him, while being emotionally and physically present, as he learns about the world.

Realizing all of this has made me face the reality that I’ve been holding Drew back quite a bit. He turned three in April and for the past six months, he’s been mentally and emotionally moving ahead and yet I’m still treating him like he’s younger. Our list of Things To Work On includes teaching him better table manners, play dates with other kids, getting completely rid of the high chair and sippy cup (he uses a booster seat at the dining room table and a regular cup at the table but the high chair is used a lot for pizza night, movie night, or when I’m just lazy – and he uses the sippy cup at night-time and for most of play-time and I’d rather just get him a water bottle to carry), lots more structure in his day-to-day, and POTTY TRAINING.

I’m always pretty aware of parenting fads, and when Elimination Communication became the Thing To Do (Drew was less than a year old), I bought the book + a baby potty chair. And the potty chair sat in the corner, with dust, because the reality was that I was fighting depression and there was no way I could deal with potty training an infant.

Around two, we bought a real potty chair and pull-ups and had a few conversations with Drew (and attempts) about what should happen and he was pretty upset about it to the point that I decided to wait a month or so. Even though my Granny was calling and writing letters to me about how I should have him potty trained YESTERDAY, I knew that he wasn’t ready.

And then, at some point, we crossed into the reality of Drew being completely ready and his mother ignoring the issue. I’m not sure where that line is and when we crossed it, but we’re totally there. He wakes up with dry diapers each morning, I absolutely know when he’s going to poop or pee and he talks about it all matter-of-factly. But I haven’t been ready. At all.

And when I started pondering the reality of my joyless parenting, I realized that this is a huge opportunity to place myself back in the present of walking with Drew as he encounters these big, new changes. We brought him into the world over three years ago and were SO happy and thankful to have him here. I’m not going to hate myself for going through thick depression and severely struggling with the balance of parenting, but now that those dark clouds have lifted, I’m having to kick myself pretty hard to get back into active mothering and being prepared for constant change.

So, my current plan, if all goes well, is to make this weekend the weekend of Change. We’re spending the next few days talking about it all, re-doing his bedroom and closet, buying pull-ups, big boy underwear, his own soap, and wipes for the bathroom. And then making cookies together as the reward for having met his goals!

But, I’m smiling while doing it. 🙂 I’m really eager for this. I’m aching for it, to be honest. I love Drew so much and I feel like he’s really lost out on wonderful parts of life in the past year or so (just as I have) and I want to make it up to him by showing him that part of growing up is learning all these new wonderful things and that even if it feels overwhelming at times, that I’m going to be there with him, every step of the way.

After breakfast this morning, we sat on the couch and talked about potty-training for a few minutes and I explained that we were going to be talking about it a lot over the next few days and I asked him if he was excited about learning to go in the potty all the time and he said, “no thank you.”

So, if he ends up peeing and pooping all over the carpet, I’m just going to eat all the cookies, have a good cry, and keep trying.

Posted in Depression, Drew, Mothering | Comments Closed

lazy days, tape roads, and delightful things.

Monday, July 12th, 2010

We’ve mostly had a lazy Monday. Our weekend was full of games, movies, food, and hanging out with Steve and Cassidy so as everyone else went back to Work and Responsibility, we slept in until 11am and ate spaghetti for breakfast.

In fact, the only productive thing I’ve done all day was to hit the grocery store this evening and even then, Daniel was with us, and I found myself wandering around the aisles pretty often thinking oh, yes, I want to eat this. And this. And that.

After we put the groceries up tonight, I got out the masking tape because of something I read on Alicia’s secondary rain-day blog. Her idea is something I knew Drew would love and goodness, it’s CHEAP and CAR RELATED.

Drew helped me make the masking-tape roads and throughout the evening he’s added houses and hotels from Peanuts Monopoly as well as train tracks.

And, he’s taken to somersaulting over it all as well.

I love that he can crawl all over it without messing it up and that even after the toys have been put away for the evening, it will be here in the morning for him to play with again. I probably won’t take it up until I vacuum again in a few days. ^_^

And here’s the delightful thing I found this evening:

Posted in Drew, The Everyday | Comments Closed

23 months old.

Sunday, March 8th, 2009

Dear Drew,

You turned twenty-three months old two days ago. And yet this changing of another month was no mere formality (not that it ever is, actually). You have changed in tangible, real, and measurable ways that bring delight in our home and at other times, tears, while watching you sleep.

Everyone told me that you’d grow up too quickly. I know that time really does feel as though it’s zooming by but I had no idea how fast you’d leave the cuddly baby stage. I miss feeling you snuggle against my neck after eating and knowing that just walking you around while holding you in my arms could loll you to sleep.

And when you sprawl in your bed at night, your long legs make you look less like a toddler and more like a young boy. But your round cheeks, wild hair, giggles, silly faces, and sweet hugs are all pieces of your childhood that I simply cannot part with yet.

You’ve learned to blow kisses but still get frustrated with blowing into the harmonica. You’ve fallen in love with broccoli but can’t stand the way rice feels in your mouth. And you love to gather sticks on the lawn but hate getting dirt on your hands.

Suddenly and surprisingly, you are learning letters! You recognize A, E, K, M, O, Q, and W whenever you see them in a book, on a shirt, or on Sesame Street. Your grand-mommy gave us a placemat with letters that she used with your uncles and aunt and you LOVE to look at it before your nap. We try counting every day, with the random everydayness of life. How many bowls am I holding? How many pairs of underwear am I folding? How many fingers have chocolate stains? You know how to count up to five but you LOVE the number five so much that you sometimes just shout FIVE FIVE FIVE.

You absolutely floored me the other afternoon. You were running in a circle, which you do twice a day, like clockwork. It’s a very involved process in which you run around for what seems like hours and recite everything you see in the room.

But this time, instead of narrating the room, you said “LOVES YOU, BEAR IS WHITE, DAFF’DL IS YELLOW, APPLE IS RED.” Over and over.

You were reciting the children’s book we’ve been reading over and over, That’s How Much God Loves You! The story says “He loves you as much as a polar bear is white and a daffodil is yellow and an apple is red.”

I’m still amazed that you remembered the book well enough to shout it out randomly.

One overwhelming piece of our story right now is learning how to deal with your anger. I don’t have the heart to share all of the drama right now but hopefully I’ll feel like writing about it soon. The short story is that your Daddy and I fell in love with attachment parenting even before you were born. But we never really kept at it.

You have moments of real frustration. Which you’ve inherited from me. And sometimes, it’s just normal testing-your-boundaries cuteness. For instance, your daddy asked for you to give him one of your toys the other evening. You stood there, studying him.

And then said, “gimme car. NO!” As though you couldn’t remember exactly how to word it all.

With some of your more overwhelming bouts of anger, we’ve reverted into spanking mode. But it has not worked at all and has just made me feel awful. In fact, the only times I’ve spanked you have been when I have been frustrated myself. I’ve felt awful over it and have pulled Dr. Sears’ book on discipline down so many times and I’m slowly working my way through it.

I know many mommy’s and daddy’s differ on whether spanking is right or wrong, needed or not, but I’m at a place right now where I can firmly say that I don’t believe spanking is necessary at all. It feels very wrong for me.

You respond beautifully to slow, gentle parenting. It takes a lot more patience on my part but oh, it feels so right. So, we’re taking this one step at a time while we try to show you the best way of dealing with frustrating moments and everyday life.

Because we ALL have them. And we all have to learn how to deal with them.

I will let you in on a little secret. Sometimes chocolate helps. But I’m not going to tell you that for a little while longer.

My sweet drewster, I love you so much.

For so long I thought that becoming a mommy would be all about you and how wonderful it would be to be a family of three and not just two. But being your mommy has been hard work. Not because of anything you’ve done at all but because I’ve learned so much about myself and what is inside my own heart.

I’m absolutely blessed that God’s given you to us for this journey and that He lets us parent even though we are crazy and not always sure of what we are doing.

You are growing and changing and before I know it, you’ll be all angles and legs and catching bugs, doggies, and then the love of someone other than me.

Please know that I’m trying very hard to enjoy these wiggly days with you. I don’t always have a camera to catch your beautiful smile and I don’t always have the mind or memory to write a blog post to tell of your doings. But I’m keeping it all bundled inside and one day, you can curl up beside me and we’ll have long talks about these days of discovery.

Love, Mommy

Posted in Drew, Letters | Comments Closed

octolilly [through the years]